God bless the Internet.


Derek: So what do we do now?
Brennan Huff: We can hug?
Derek: Yeah you'd like that ya faggot!.... I'm sorry, I'm new to this.

Panic. It crept up my spine like first rising vibes of an acid frenzy. There I was. Alone in Las Vegas, completely twisted on drugs, no cash, no story for the magazine, and on top of everything else, a gigantic god damned hotel bill to deal with. How would Horatio Alger handle this situation?

Raoul Duke

Miles Finch: [pitching ideas] No tomatoes. Too vulnerable. Kids, they're already vulnerable.
Walter: See, I told you guys. I told them the same thing...
Miles Finch: And no farms. Everyone's pushing small town rural. A farm book would just be white noise.

Desperation is a stinky cologne.

Police Chief Grady

Even Wheelchair Robert got a handjob!


I want you all over that ball like a fat kid on a cupcake!

Van Wilder

Our idiot brother just ruined my freaking life!


Gimbel's Manager: HEY! There's no singin' in the North Pole!
Buddy: Yes there is!
Gimbel's Manager: No there's not!
Buddy: We sing all the time!
Gimbel's Manager: No you don't!
Buddy: Especially when we build toys!

[In an Irish accent] I'll believe ya when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet.

Captain O'Hagan

Donkey: Man, you are a cat-tastrophe.
Puss in Boots: And you, are ri-donk-ulous.
[Both laugh]

Honey, don't give me that "all for one" shit. I got to deal with being a minority in a minority of a minority, and nobody supports my ass.


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