Popular Comedy Quotes
Susan Cooper: Where'd you get a suit?
Rick Ford: I fucking made it, didn't I?
[talking to Deacon] I know you don't want to go to jail in Mexico because nobody wants to go to jail in Mexico. They put all kinds of burritos in your ass.Miles Logan
Brick Tamland: Your hair looks like wet popcorn.
Chani: I like the parts of your face that are covered with skin.
Tom Smykowski: It's a "Jump to Conclusions" mat! You see, you have this mat, with different CONCLUSIONS written on it that you could JUMP TO!
Michael Bolton: That's the worst idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom.
Samir: Yes, this is horrible, this idea.
It's called reading! Top to bottom, left to right... a group of words together is called a sentence. Take Tylenol for any headaches... Midol for any cramps.Richard Hayden
Michael Newman: [reading off letter] Like I Said, "Good Guys Need A Break". I know you'll do the right thing this time. Love Morty. P.S. Your Wife's Rockin' Body Still Drives Me Crazy.
Michael Newman: Okay, Morty.
[Throws the universal remote into the bin]
Norbit! Why you run like little bitch?Mr. Wong
Pinchers of power! You guys! I've been saved by my Pinchers of Power!Richard 'Data' Wang
Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little shit just like you.Dean Vernon Wormer
Safe... when I'm with you I feel so safe... like I'm home.Andrew Largeman
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Suck me, beautiful.
College Girl: What did you just say?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Suck me, beautiful!
College Girl: [laughs]
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Friends call me Nova. As in Casanova.
College Girl: That's pathetic!
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Jeez, you don't have to laugh at me.
Jake Taylor: That ball wouldn't have been out of a lot of parks.
Rick Vaughn: Name one.
Jake Taylor: Yellowstone?