Are you kidding me? Look at all this crap! There's like a million wires in here. I'm more like a three wire guy

MacGruber

Lt. Dixon Piper: "How did you know I was wearing a bullet proof vest?"
MacGruber: "You're wearing a bullet proof vest?! Awesome!"

Oh no, no! This better not be some kind of joke!

MacGruber

Dieter Von Cunth: "Have you ever been to DC?"
Guy: "No, sir. I haven't."
Dieter Von Cunth: "I was talking to the missile."

Vicki St. Elmo: "If you're the one they want to come after why can't you be dressed like you?"
MacGruber: "Because. You are."

Lt. Dixon Piper: "Now remember MacGruber. You gotta keep him on long enough to get a location."
MacGruber: "Don't worry, I've done this before. Now, listen to me you piece of... He hung up. Did you get it?"
Vicki St. Elmo: "No."
MacGruber: "Damn it! Is that thing working?!"

Lt. Dixon Piper: "What is the plan?"
MacGruber: "Well I don't use guns. So I am gonna use homemade explosives that I made with my own two..."
[explosion]

MacGruber: Don't worry, this is just like Nicaragua.
Vicki St. Elmo: I got shot in Nicaragua!
MacGruber: This is nothing like Nicaragua.

Vicki St. Elmo: I'm a virgin.
MacGruber: Not for long.

If ripping throats gets that warhead back, I'll suck as many dicks as I've go-- I'll rip as many throats as I have to!

MacGruber

Donkey: Man, you are a cat-tastrophe.
Puss in Boots: And you, are ri-donk-ulous.
[Both laugh]

Stacey Pilgrim: Next time, we don't date the girl with eleven evil ex-boyfriends.
Scott Pilgrim: Seven.
Stacey Pilgrim: Well, that's not that bad.

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