Popular Comedy Quotes
You can't outrun me! I'm black!Sergio Roma
[Lin slaps Chon Wang]
Chon Wang: I just saved you!
Chon Lin: You were late!
Tomika: [explaining why she is nervous] They'll laugh at me.
Dewey Finn: What? Why would they laugh at you?
Tomika: I dunno... because I'm fat.
Dewey Finn: Tomika... Ok, you've heard of Aretha Franklin right? She's a big lady. But when she sings, she blows people's minds! Everyone wants to party with Aretha! And, you know who else has a weight problem?
Dewey Finn: Me. But when I get up there and start doing my thing, people worship me! Because I'm sexy, and chubby, man.
Tomika: Why don't you go on a diet?
Dewey Finn: Because I like to eat! Is that such a crime?
Kenny Fisher: Do you, uh... what a drink?
Stoned Girl: Okay.
Kenny Fisher: Uh... how 'bout I poison it?
Stoned Girl: Okay.
A Woman is like an artichoke, you must work hard to get to her heart.Inspector Jacques Clouseau
You take yourself out of the game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream and of course it's going to end up on the friendship tip.Trent
By the power of Greyskull!Danny Butterman
[Reading from a manuscript of what Bruce said the previous evening] "The gloves are off, God.", "God has taken my bird and my bush.", "God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass.", "Smite me, O Mighty Smiter." Now, I'm not big on blasphemy, but that last one made me laugh.God
Constantine: My name will go down as the greatest thief of all time!
Dominic Badguy: You mean our names, right?
Constantine: Of course. My name first, then space bump, space bump, space bump, your name...
What is it with all the women in this family, that makes all the men in this family wanna leave?Garry
Eli: Okay, you know what the three of us are? We're a tripod.
Matt: A tripod?
Eli: Yes, a tripod. Which means that if you knock out one of our legs... WE. ALL. FALL!
Go to sleep! Why won't you just go to sleep!Droz