Popular Comedy Quotes
Lillian: You remember my cousin Rita. Rita just bought a new house. It is gorgeous.
Rita: I wouldn't know, I only see the kitchen and the laundry room, and the ceiling in my bedroom.
Rita: [after pause] Sometimes the floor.
Annie: You are going along with your life and you look around and you notice like Ohh. I am in my 30's, I am 40,000 dollar in debt. I live with a weirdo.
Lillian: You have a super creepy roommate.
[shouting] We all got the flu. Such a coincidence.Annie
I am ready to parrrtyyy.Annie
Helen: Oh my God, you got food poisoining from that restaurant, didn't you.
Annie: No, I had the same thing that she had and I feel fine.
[As Becca starts to feel sick and attempts to control pucking]
Phil: "Stu Come on, Get up. We got a situation"
Stu: "Where are we"
Phil: "You're gonna freak out, but its gonna be ok."
[Stu checks mirror and screams]
"This is a real tattoo!"
Stu: "Alan what did you do? Did you roofie me?
Alan: I didn't do anything
Phil: "It happened again."
Tracy: "Seriously, what is wrong with you three?"
Phil: Chow! What are you doing here?
Alan: He's my plus one
Chow: We had a sick night bitches
Stu: "You got shot!"
Phil: "Am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor."
[Stu looks at the gunshot wound and screams]
"All I wanted was a breakfast brunch."Stu
"I have a demon in me."Stu
"We made a pact, Wolfpack only."Alan [to Teddy]