Statler: I always dreamed we'd be back here.
Waldorf: Dreams? Those where nightmares!

Jill: Are you going bald?
Jack: Huh?
Jill: No no no, you're getting fatter, and your hair doesn't realize it needs to cover more face.
Jack: Okay.

Jack: Jill this is Otto.
Otto: Nice to meet you.
Jill: (Yells) :Nice to meet you! He's homeless, right?
Jack: Are you whispering with a bull horn or something? Everybody hears you.

Gary: You and Jill are so alike!
Jack: We are nothing alike, I promise you.

Al Pacino: Your sister and I grew up on the same streets. When I look at her, I see me.
Jack: When I look at her I see me too.

Jack: This is insane, man, you've got to call him!
Jill: Oh will you stop already? You know all he wants to do is play Twister with your sister.

Noah: My name's Noah Jaybird. Ca caa! What's your name?
Soul Baby: They call me Soul. Soul Baby.
Noah: Soul Baby?
Soul Baby: Yeah.
Noah: Keep it in control baby. Tears, no fears man.
Soul Baby: Is that right?
Noah: Respect it, don't neglect it. Treat it, don't beat it.
Soul Baby: You're a bada** motherf**ker.

What's up little tampon?

Noah

I'm more of a 'sit on the couch, do what I say or I'll kill you' type of babysitter.

Noah

Sandy Griffith: Have you started looking for a job yet? What about babysitting?
Noah: Babysitting sucks. Adult men don't babysit things.

You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.

Benjamin

Benjamin: This place is perfect! Why didn't you mention it earlier?
Mr. Stevens: It's a bit complicated.
Benjamin: Complicated's okay. What's so complicated about this place?
Mr. Stevens: Well, you see, it's uhhh... (Lion roars, loudly) It's a zoo.
Rosie: Yay!
Mr. Stevens: Yay!

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