Popular Comedy Quotes
David Patrick: We stoped off for ice cream.
Winston: When the fuck did we get ice cream?
Sometimes a bowler just has to face the music.Ernie McCracken
John Bender: What's that?
Claire Standish: Sushi.
John Bender: Sushi?
Claire Standish: Rice, raw fish, and seaweed.
John Bender: You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth, and you're going to eat that?
Claire Standish: Can I eat?
John Bender: I don't know. Give it a try.
[to baby] And this here's the TV. Two hours a day, either educational or football, so you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things.H.I.
Dr. Peter Venkman: He slimed me.
Dr Ray Stantz: That's great. Actual physical contact. Can you move?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [over walkie-talkie] Ray, Ray, come in please.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I feel so funky.
I gave you life so that you could live it.Maria Portokalos
Marlin: Where's my son? Where's Nemo?
Bloat: [frantically] Dentist! Dentist!
Marlin: What's a dentist? What is that?
You know, I've been listening to your fuckin' bullshit all week. Are we square? Are WE square? Yeah, ya fuckin' mute. And if you see your friend Shep Proudfoot, tell him I'm gonna nail his fuckin' ass!Carl Showalter
Hey, guys. Big gulps, huh? Cool. All right! Well, see ya later.Lloyd
Harry: So you got fired again, eh?
Lloyd: Oh yeah. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, ya' know?
Harry: Yeah, well, I lost my job too.
Lloyd: Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.
Harry: No, none taken. You know what really chaps my ass though? I spent my life savings turning my van into a dog. The alarm alone cost me two hundred.
Lloyd: Hey, chicks love it. Its the shaggin' wagon.
Lois Einhorn: Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you better be gone.
Ace Ventura: Is it number one or number two? I just want to know how much time I have.
I like her red hair. I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes.Surfing Instructor