Popular Comedy Quotes
I like her red hair. I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes.Surfing Instructor
Marie: I don't think he's every going to leave her.
Sally: I know he's never going to leave her.
Marie: You're right, you're right. I know you're right.
[to baby] And this here's the TV. Two hours a day, either educational or football, so you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things.H.I.
Juno MacGuff: I think I'm, like, in love with you.
Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?
Juno MacGuff: No, I mean, like, for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.
Brian's mom: Now is this the first time or the last time we do this?
Brian Johnson: Last.
Brian's mom: Good. Now use the time to your advantage.
Brian Johnson: Mom, we're not supposed to study, we just have to sit there and do nothing.
Brian's mom: Well mister, you better figure out a way to study.
Brian's sister: Yeah.
Dr. Peter Venkman: He slimed me.
Dr Ray Stantz: That's great. Actual physical contact. Can you move?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [over walkie-talkie] Ray, Ray, come in please.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I feel so funky.
I gave you life so that you could live it.Maria Portokalos
I'm not the hero. I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am.Albert
[to Big] I curse the day you were born!Charlotte York
David Patrick: We stoped off for ice cream.
Winston: When the fuck did we get ice cream?
Marlin: Where's my son? Where's Nemo?
Bloat: [frantically] Dentist! Dentist!
Marlin: What's a dentist? What is that?
You know, I've been listening to your fuckin' bullshit all week. Are we square? Are WE square? Yeah, ya fuckin' mute. And if you see your friend Shep Proudfoot, tell him I'm gonna nail his fuckin' ass!Carl Showalter