Popular Comedy Quotes
Nick: You look like a turtle crawled out of his shell.
Lou: You look like an egg gave birth to another egg.
Nick: You look like Gandalf the poor.
Lou: You look like the least-popular kid in the cancer ward.
Nick: You look like you've never made a correct decision.
Lou: I have definitely given a back alley b***job.
Jacob: I gotta admit. I kind of like this.
Nick: You look like Billy Zane's d***.
Westley: You've done nothing but sword-play?
Inigo Montoya: More pursue than study lately. You see, I cannot find him... it's been 20 years now and I'm starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
Helen: Do you want me to make you breakfast?
Tod: No thanks, Julie will.
[then adds under her breath]
Helen: I'll get the fire extinguisher.
Your dogs are gay!Dog Spa receptionist
I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...Ron Burgundy
I don't want to be here alone when the walls start to bleed!Sherman Schrader
Paulie Bleeker: Come on, let me carry your bag.
Juno MacGuff: Oh, what's another ten pounds?
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass.Dr. Peter Venkman
JB: I've had this birth mark since I was born!
KG: I have ass-mark too!
Dr. Gonzo: This is it. Lacerda. Room 208.
Raoul Duke: [eyes askance] Huh? Lacerda?
Dr. Gonzo: Yeah, man. Lacerda...
Raoul Duke: [narrating] I couldn't remember. The name rang a bell but I couldn't concentrate. Terrible things were happening all around me.
Glen: Say, that 'minds me. What are going to name him?
H.I.: Uh... Ed. Ed, Jr.
Glen: But I thought you said it was a boy?
H.I.: Ed as in "Edward." We just like that name!
Glen: Yeah it's a good one.
You two make a cute couple. But could you do this later? When you're not elbow deep in my vagina?Pregnant Woman