Popular Comedy Quotes
Stu Price: She's got my grandmother's Holocaust ring!
Alan Garner: I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.
I'm not the hero. I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am.Albert
Sheryl: [after Frank's suicide attempt] I'm so glad you're still here.
Frank: Well, that makes one of us.
I gave you life so that you could live it.Maria Portokalos
I'm not proud of this.Olive Penderghast
Harry: So you got fired again, eh?
Lloyd: Oh yeah. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, ya' know?
Harry: Yeah, well, I lost my job too.
Lloyd: Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.
Harry: No, none taken. You know what really chaps my ass though? I spent my life savings turning my van into a dog. The alarm alone cost me two hundred.
Lloyd: Hey, chicks love it. Its the shaggin' wagon.
Elle I don't care where I marry just as long as I do. I do... I do... feels good.Emmett
My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.Isaac Davis
Lois Einhorn: Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you better be gone.
Ace Ventura: Is it number one or number two? I just want to know how much time I have.
Marie: I don't think he's every going to leave her.
Sally: I know he's never going to leave her.
Marie: You're right, you're right. I know you're right.
(Expletive) you science!Jenko
Dr. Peter Venkman: He slimed me.
Dr Ray Stantz: That's great. Actual physical contact. Can you move?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [over walkie-talkie] Ray, Ray, come in please.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I feel so funky.