Popular Comedy Quotes
Lena: How do you say "lost pants" in Greek?
Yia Yia: Greek girls do not lose their pants!
Ian Miller: How do you say "thank you" in Greek?
Nick: "OrÃ©a viziÃ¡."
Ian Miller: "OrÃ©a viziÃ¡." [English translation: "Nice boobs."]
I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it.Cameron
I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little fuck.Jay
Cameron: I burn, I pine, I perish.
[Lucentio's line from The Taming of the Shrew Act I Scene 1]
Michael: Of course you do. You know, she's beautiful and deep, I'm sure.
Woman on plane: I had a dream last night. That we went down.
Annie: Oh God.
Woman on plane: You were in it.
I tell you what I know. A kid who wears the same gymnastics sweatshirt three days a week isn't getting laid until he's 29. that's what I know.Elizabeth Halsey
Elias: If he's gonna jerk off, I'm gonna jerk off, too
Randal Graves: I don't think he's gonna jerk off.
If ripping throats gets that warhead back, I'll suck as many dicks as I've go-- I'll rip as many throats as I have to!MacGruber
[to his pregnant wife] Is this a boy or an abortion?General Aladeen
Ulysses Everett McGill: It ain't the law!
Sheriff Cooley: The law? The law is a human institution.
Becca Crane: Jacob, why did you just take off your shirt?
Jacob: [Holds up employment contract] My contract says I have to every ten minutes of screen time.