Popular Comedy Quotes
Paulie Bleeker: Come on, let me carry your bag.
Juno MacGuff: Oh, what's another ten pounds?
I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...Ron Burgundy
We came, we saw, we kicked its ass.Dr. Peter Venkman
JB: I've had this birth mark since I was born!
KG: I have ass-mark too!
Dr. Gonzo: This is it. Lacerda. Room 208.
Raoul Duke: [eyes askance] Huh? Lacerda?
Dr. Gonzo: Yeah, man. Lacerda...
Raoul Duke: [narrating] I couldn't remember. The name rang a bell but I couldn't concentrate. Terrible things were happening all around me.
Glen: Say, that 'minds me. What are going to name him?
H.I.: Uh... Ed. Ed, Jr.
Glen: But I thought you said it was a boy?
H.I.: Ed as in "Edward." We just like that name!
Glen: Yeah it's a good one.
You two make a cute couple. But could you do this later? When you're not elbow deep in my vagina?Pregnant Woman
Earl Bassett: No way those things can outrun these horses!
Valentine McKee: Yeah, well, for all you know, they can fly.
Is it just me, or does every woman in Queens have some kind of an emotional problem?Prince Akeem
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.Dean Vernon Wormer
Phil: You wanna throw up here, or you wanna throw up in the car?
Ralph: I think... both.
Deborah Clasky: You were an alcoholic and wildly promiscuous woman during my formative years so that im in this fix because of you, it is your fault and I just needed that moment for us to build on.
Evelyn Wright: You have a solid point dear... but right now the lessons of my life are coming in handy for you.