We got this good cop bad cop thing going... Except were hookers.

Lula

I'm gonna nail Morelli.

Stephanie Plum

Stephanie Plum: You guys got anything full-time, part-time?
Connie: How comfortable are you with the lowlifes?
Stephanie Plum: I sold lingerie for three years in Newark.
Connie: You're good to go.

Hookers... they always know somethin'.

Stephanie Plum

Mrs. Plum: Stephanie started a new job!
Stephanie Plum: Yeah, I did. I just got a gun.
Mrs. Plum: Whoa! (Grandma Mazur checks out the gun and proceeds to shoot the chicken sitting on the dinner table)
Mrs. Plum: Put the gun away, ma!
Mr. Plum: She belongs in a home.
Grandma Mazur: Shot that sucker in the gumpy...

Wayne Davidson: My name's Wayne by the way. I'm a nudist.
George: Oh yes, we noticed your penis earlier.

Eva: I know New York is a great city, but I do not miss that lifestyle at all. I mean it was just stress, and Blackberries, and sleeping pills. I used to drink a triple latte every morning just to wake up.
Linda: Well, I see your point, but I kind of value the sleeping pill and the Blackberry and the latte.
Seth: You know you can really get trapped in that web of beepers and Zenith televisions and Walkmens and Discmans and floppy discs and zip drives, laser discs, answering machines and Nintendo Power Glove...
Linda: Wow, you know so much about technology.

George: All these people live here. This is a commune.
Seth: We prefer 'intentional community.' We're not a bunch of hippies sitting around playing guitar.

Eva: Ohh George. I like you.
George: I like you too Eva.
Eva: We should make love sometime...

Linda: I can fly.
George: You can't fly!
Linda: I believe I can fly.
George: If you're going to get literal with an R. Kelly song, do Trapped in the Closet...

If you want to pick a fight with your sexual chi, it's just going to drive it inwards - and that invites disease, and death.

Seth

You like my erection selection?

George (to the mirror)

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