When did you go through puberty? Like at seven or something?

Mr. Walters

Domingo: You guys even real cops? You look like kids in Halloween
Jenko: Hey! You want me to beat your dick off?
Domingo: You want to beat my dick off?
Schmidt: I think what he was trying to say was, he's gonna punch you so many times round the genital area that your dick's just gonna fall off.

Put your tongue back in your mouth.

Mr. Walters

Let me check out your chest... Let me check out your test.

Ms. Griggs

You're just like your mother, a big heart but simple. You cannot help me, I need someone smart, and if you were smart you would know that you are dumb.

Miguel Ernesto

DEA Agent Parker: Do. You. Speak American?
Armando Alvarez: No sir. I don't speak American.

My woman, Miss Lopez, must love the land as I do.

Armando Alvarez

Raul Alvarez: I'd like to propose a toast and thank those who have come from so far. But I would like to specially thank someone -- someone who many of you have often called stupid, imbecile, fat head, but...he's a guy with a big heart. I propose a toast for my brother. For your happiness Armando.
Armando Alvarez: Yes, to Raul's happiness. May you enjoy all of life's pleasure. Even if it means the destruction of the family!

Onza: Sonia, why are you sleeping with this dirty rancher?
Armando Alvarez: Say away, or I'll beat you with these hands!

I am Armando Alvarez!

Armando Alvarez

Not So Slim Shady, what's up? I haven't seen you since high school...

Jenko

Deputy Chief Hardy: We're reviving a canceled undercover police program from the 80s. You idiots are officially transferred.
Jenko: Where do we report?
Deputy Chief Hardy: Down on Jump Street. 21 Jump Street.

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