Popular Comedy Quotes
I arrested a man-lady who was legally named Phuck.Officer Slater
I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. I don't know how yet. Possibly with dynamite.Steve Zissou
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.Steve McCroskey
God, why do you hate me?Bruce
Big Dan Teague: Thank you boys for throwin' in that fricassee. I'm a man of large appetite, and even with lunch under my belt, I was feelin' a mite peckish.
Ulysses Everett McGill: It's our pleasure, Big Dan.
I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's REALLY hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, a bad man.Trent
Cady: Look, I'm really sorry about the bus. I feel like it's all my fault.
Regina: Stopping making this about you. I'm the one that got hit by the bus.
Cady: I'm really sorry about all the other stuff too.
Regina: Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now.
Elwood: Baby clothes...
Jake: This place has got everything.
Marianne: I was never so grateful in all my life as I am to Mrs. Jennings. Oh, Elinor, I shall see Willoughby and you will see Edward. Are you asleep?
Elinor Dashwood: With you in the room?
Marianne: I do not believe you act as calm as you look, Elinor. Not even you. Oh, I will never sleep tonight. And what were you and Miss Steel talking about so long?
Elinor Dashwood: Nothing of significance.
Uh, what my associate is trying say is... Our new brake pads are really cool. You're not even gonna believe it. Like, let's say you're driving along the road with your family.Tommy
Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right.The Mayor
Roy: So what did your dad do? Was he an imperial guard?
Chon Wang: No, much more important. He was the Keeper of the Imperial Seal.
Roy: That's what I love about China. Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool!