Popular Comedy Quotes
Put your tongue back in your mouth.Mr. Walters
Let me check out your chest... Let me check out your test.Ms. Griggs
You're just like your mother, a big heart but simple. You cannot help me, I need someone smart, and if you were smart you would know that you are dumb.Miguel Ernesto
DEA Agent Parker: Do. You. Speak American?
Armando Alvarez: No sir. I don't speak American.
My woman, Miss Lopez, must love the land as I do.Armando Alvarez
Raul Alvarez: I'd like to propose a toast and thank those who have come from so far. But I would like to specially thank someone -- someone who many of you have often called stupid, imbecile, fat head, but...he's a guy with a big heart. I propose a toast for my brother. For your happiness Armando.
Armando Alvarez: Yes, to Raul's happiness. May you enjoy all of life's pleasure. Even if it means the destruction of the family!
Onza: Sonia, why are you sleeping with this dirty rancher?
Armando Alvarez: Say away, or I'll beat you with these hands!
I am Armando Alvarez!Armando Alvarez
Not So Slim Shady, what's up? I haven't seen you since high school...Jenko
Deputy Chief Hardy: We're reviving a canceled undercover police program from the 80s. You idiots are officially transferred.
Jenko: Where do we report?
Deputy Chief Hardy: Down on Jump Street. 21 Jump Street.
I am one more "black gay kid getting punched in the face" away from a nervous breakdown. Do I make myself clear?Principal Dadier (to Jenko and Schmidt)
Will you go to prom with me?Schmidt (to Jenko)