Popular Comedy Quotes
"I don't like you takin' liberties with my dick."Nick [to Lou, regarding an oral sex bet]
I'm going off the grid. No more Franchises, no more botox, no more "Hey, oh, lets clone another goat," and certainly no more sexual harassment lawsuits, what's wrong with saying "Hey, nice tits." When did that go out the window?Uncle Ben
Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.Al Czervik
Tripp: [at the top of a mountain, when Ace appears] Well, hey, Ace. We thought you gave up and went home.
Ace: [dropping to the ground, exhausted] No. I fell into a deep, dark crevice. It was scary.
Johnny: I love that when I breathe you in you smell like cake batter. And I love that you have this insane way of talking in circles that makes perfect sense.
Milly: [shocked] I do? Cause sometimes I feel like nobody understands me. But...
Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now.Elwood
Kermit: Maybe you don't need the whole world to love you, you know? Maybe you just need one person.
Miss Piggy: Oh Kermie...
I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.Ron Burgundy
Vinny Gambini: Your Honor, may I have permission to treat Ms. Vito as a hostile witness?
Mona Lisa Vito: You think I'm hostile now, wait 'til you see me tonight.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Do you two know each other?
Vinny Gambini: Yeah, she's my fiancÃˆe.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Well, that would certainly explain the hostility.
Chunk: How's this?
Mikey: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside-down!
Brandon Walsh: If God made it that way, you'd all be pissing in your faces!
Chunk: Looks fine to me.
[at the library, discussing Jake's one-night stand] I had no choice. She bet me 50 dollars that she had a better body than you and I had to defend your honor.Jake Taylor
I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal.Ron Burgundy