Popular Comedy Quotes
I wish monkeys could skype.Alan
Davy Jones: I wonder, Sparrow, can you condemn a innocent man, a friend to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?
Jack Sparrow: Yep, I can live with it
Stinky Pete the Prospector: Idiots! Children destroy toys. You'll be ruined, forgotten, spending eternity rotting on some landfill.
Woody: Well, Stinky Pete, I think it's time you learned the true meaning of playtime.
If you ain't first, you're last.Ricky Bobby
Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
Surfing Instructor: If you get bitten by a shark, you're not just gonna give up surfing, are you?
Peter Bretter: ...yeah, probably
Sister EncarnaciÃ³n: Ignacio, I have been looking all over for you, where have you been?
Nacho: I have been here. I have been sleeping.
Sister EncarnaciÃ³n: In a frilly shirt and slacks?
Nacho: They are my PJ's
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?
Igor: [doing a Groucho Marx] Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban.
Lloyd: I'm only human, Harry! Come on! Stop being a baby. So we backtracked a tad!
Harry: A tad? A tad, Lloyd? You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep!
Lloyd: Well, it's not gonna do us any good sitting here whining about it. We're in a hole. We're just going to have to dig ourselves out.
Becca: I'm so wet right now.
Evan: Yeah... they said that would happen in Health Class.
I'm telling secrets to the one guy you don't tell secrets to.Russell Hammond
Dory: I'm thinking of something orange and small...
Marlin: Me again.
Dory: All right, Mr. Smarty pants...