Popular Comedy Quotes
[Repeated line] Uh oh!'Baby' Brent
Let's pretend I blew up the school... all the schools. Now that you're dead, what are you gonna do with your life?J.D.
Detective John Kimble: I have a headache. Lowell: It might be a tumor.
Detective John Kimble: It's not a tumor! It's not a tumor. At all!
Father Brian Finn: If I was to tell you that I loved you and I'd give it all away just to be with you, what would you say?
Woman in Bar: Good night, Paulie.
Father Brian Finn: Yep. That's about par for the evening.
Now I will kill you until you die from it!Saddam Hussein
I'm not a homophobe, I'm a pulling out-my-penis in-front-of you-ophobe.Dave Buznik
Rufus: He still digs humanity, but it bothers Him to see the shit that gets carried out in His name - wars, bigotry, televangelism. But especially the factioning of all the religions. He said humanity took a good idea and, like always, built a belief structure on it.
Bethany: Having beliefs isn't good?
Rufus: I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. Life should malleable and progressive; working from idea to idea permits that. Beliefs anchor you to certain points and limit growth; new ideas can't generate. Life becomes stagnant.
Rusty Ryan: Are you alright?
Danny Ocean: Yeh, um, I just bit into a red pepper.
Rusty Ryan: Is that... are you... are you watching Oprah?
Sally Albright: The first date back is always the toughest, Harry.
Harry Burns: You only had one date. How do you know it's not going to get worse?
Sally Albright: How much worse can it get than finishing dinner, having him reach over, pull a hair out of my head and start flossing with it at the table?
Harry Burns: We're talking dream date compared to my horror.
It's got, ah, Ted Danson and Magnum P.I. and that Jewish actor...Alan Garner
Karen: Why are you dressed so scary?
Cady: It's Halloween.
Well, it's Groundhog Day... again... and that must mean we're up here at Gobbler's Knob waiting for the forecast from the world's most famous groundhog weatherman, Punxsutawney Phil, who's just about to tell us how much more winter we can expect.Phil