Popular Comedy Quotes
Sugar: Oh, Daphne, how can I ever repay you?
Jerry: Oh, I can think of a million things.
[Sugar gets into bed with him]
Jerry: And that's one of them!
Sugar: If my mother could only see me now.
Joe: I hope my mother never finds out.
Vic: Hey Deb, How's my soft baby?
Debbie Dunham: Come on, beat it, Vic. I'm not your baby.
Vic: Aw, come on honey. Look, so I never called you back. I've been, you know, busy.
Debbie Dunham: Yeah, three weeks? Besides, it only took me one night to realize if brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose.
Vic: Look who's talking. Hey, who's the wimp you're hanging out with now? Einstein?
Debbie Dunham: Tiger happens to be very intelligent, unlike you. I know everything your dirty little mind is thinking - it shows.
Terry Fields: Hey now, buddy, look. The lady obviously doesn't want to have...
Vic: Look, creep. You want a knuckle sandwich?
Terry Fields: Uh, no thanks. I'm waiting for a double Chucky Chuck.
Vic: Then keep your smart-ass mouth shut.
Vic: Hey, I'll call you some night Deb. Some night when I'm hard up.
Debbie Dunham: I won't be home.
Debbie Dunham: [lights a match and throws it at him as he makes an obscene gesture at her]
Debbie Dunham: Get out of here.
Terry Fields: You seem to know a lot of weird guys.
Peel out, I just love it when guys peel out.Debbie Dunham
Carol: [to Falfa] Your car is uglier than I am!
[both John and Falfa look at her oddly]
Carol: Uh... that didn't come out right.
Laurie Henderson: Come on.
Steve Bolander: Come on, what?
Laurie Henderson: Steven, please. Smile or something.
Steve Bolander: Quit pinching!
Laurie Henderson: You think I care if you go off? You think I'm gonna crack up or something? Boy, are you conceited!
Steve Bolander: I don't know why I ever asked you out!
[to Steve] I don't care if you leave this second!Laurie Henderson
[to Debbie] Hello. Buenos Noches. You sure you don't need a lift somewhere? Huh? Hey, you know John Milner? John Milner's a good friend of mine. Hey, did anybody ever tell you that you look just like Connie Stevens?Terry Fields
John Milner: So, your Judy's little... Shit! How old are you?
Carol: I'm old enough. How old are you?
John Milner: I'm too old for you.
Carol: You can't be that old.
Carol: [John turns off the radio] Why did you do that?
John Milner: I don't like that surfin' shit. Rock and roll's been going down hill ever since Buddy Holly died.
Carol: Don't you think the Beach Boys are boss?
John Milner: You would, you grungy little twirp.
Carol: Grungy? You big weenie! If I had a boyfriend, he'd pound you.
John Milner: Yeah, sure.
[to Laurie] Why are you so depressed? You'll forget him in a week. After you're elected senior Queen, you'll have so many boys after your bod.Peg
If you ever get tired of going steady with somebody that ain't around, I'm up for grabs.John Milner