Popular Comedy Quotes
I have the talent, I have the drive.. (got hit by a car) I have to avoid whatever that was.E.B.
If you were me, then I'd be you, and I'd use *your* body to get to the top. You can't stop me no matter who you are!Ace
So, Lord Helmet, at last we meet again for the first time for the last time.Lone Starr
Melissa: You really love animals, don't you?
Ace Ventura: If it gets cold enough.
Bob Banks: What is that smell?
Jack Byrnes: That smell, Bob, is our shit. Focker flushed the toilet in the den so the septic tank overflowed.
Greg Focker: I told you, Jack, it wasn't me, it was Jinx.
Jack Byrnes: FOCKER, I'm not gonna tell you again. Jinx cannot flush the toilet. He's a cat for Christ sakes!
Larry: The animal doesn't even have thumbs, Focker.
For God's sake, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a pool man!Ace Ventura
Hey, wait a minute, there's no birthday party for me here!Jeff Spicoli
You kinda look like a shiny mermaid.Kevin
Grim Reaper: I believe Colonel Mustard did it in the study with a candlestick.
Bill: Sorry, death, you lose! It was Professor Plum!
Grim Reaper: I said Plum!
Ted: No way! You said Mustard! Can we go back now?
Grim Reaper: Uh, best three out of five!
Ted: I don't believe this guy!
Is it like a thousand degrees here or is it just me? It's me.Carter Duryea
Andrew Largeman: So knock... knock and barter for Desert Storm trading cards.
Mark: Don't tease me about my hobbies. I don't tease you about being an asshole.
Randolph Duke: Money isn't everything, Mortimer.
Mortimer Duke: Oh, grow up.
Randolph Duke: Mother always said you were greedy.
Mortimer Duke: She meant it as a compliment.