Popular Comedy Quotes
Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.
Phil
You know my girlfriend is dead. She fell off a cliff and died on impact.
Happy Gilmore
Gunter: [about Johan] He then fled to America with his mother, a common Bavarian... what is word I'm looking for? WHORE!
Todd Wolfhouse: Gam Gam a whore? I think something must have been lost in the translation.
Gunter: HOOKER! PROSTITUTE! SLUT FOR MONEY!
Mini Me, if I ever lost you I don't know what I would do. [pauses] I'd probably move on and get another clone but there would be a 15 minute period there where I would just be inconsolable.
Dr. Evil
Bean Lamonsoff: Mommy, I want some milk.
Sally Lamonsoff: Come here. I'll give you a little something.
[starts breastfeeding Bean]
Roxanne Chase-Feder: Your son is so cute. How old is he?
Eric Lamonsoff: 48 months.
Kurt McKenzie: [pause] That's 4.
Eric Lamonsoff: [pause] Yeah.
Officer Palumbo: What kind of name is that anyhow? Kumar? What is that five o's or two u's?
Kumar: No, it's actually one "u"
Officer Palumbo: Yeah... bullshit.
Everyone's like Cody this, Cody that. Cody's me bro, let me be me.
Cody Maverick
Hey, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. But now... now I'm washing lettuce. Soon I'll be on fries; then the grill. And pretty soon, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.
Maurice
I will love you forever, Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours.
Mr. Big
I'm putting together a team. Its filled with American heroes with over 100 years of combined combat experience... and a whole lot of brotherhood.
MacGruber
Jim that pan lid is see clear.
Selena
We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all.
Andrew
