I need to be helped. I need you to rub my back, put me in my onesie...whatever you need to do baby, I'm yours!


We don't associate with the creative types. We have a Scrabble club. We associate with people with babies.

Mrs. Pearl

I'm going to prove to you beyond a shadow of a doubt that Archie is all about pussy.

Banky Edwards

Archie: Your brother didn't bring you here this time, did he?
Wanda: No.
Archie: He's no idea?
Wanda: He doesn't have a clue.
Archie: What?
Wanda: He's so dumb...
Archie: Really?
Wanda: ...he thought that the Gettysburg Address was where Lincoln lived.

This is the West, not the East. The sun may rise where we come from... but here is where it sets.

Chon Wang

Ever fired your gun in the air and yelled, 'Aaaaaaah?'

Danny Butterman

Lone Starr: I still don't understand how I'm going to lift that big statue with this little ring.
Yogurt: Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz!

I did nothing. The pavement was his enemy.

Julius Benedict

Elaine Miller: You wanna be Atticus Finch. Oh, that makes me feel so good.
Young William: I like him.

Rabinowitz: What are you reading?
Topper: Great Expectations.
Rabinowitz: Is it any good?
Topper: It's not what I'd hoped for.

Audrey Griswold: Mom, where can I go to the bathroom?
Ellen Griswold: Find a bush Audrey!

I know you. You know you. And I know you know that I know you.

White Goodman

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