Popular Comedy Quotes
Jackie: Lula, a snack?
Lula: You always complainin'. It's hot. I'm hungry.
Miss Stoeger, I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for 40 minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.Cher
Harry Doyle: Monty, anything to add?
Color Man: Umm... no.
Harry Doyle: He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!
Mr. Burgundy. You have a massive erection.Veronica Corningstone
Walter Stratford: My insurance does not cover PMS!
Kat Stratford: Well then, tell them I had a seizure.
Kurt's Dad: My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.
J.D.: Wonder how he'd react if his son had a limp wrist with a pulse.
My victory in Boston was as sweet as the cream pie from the city it's named after.Chazz
Stacey Pilgrim: Next time, we don't date the girl with eleven evil ex-boyfriends.
Scott Pilgrim: Seven.
Stacey Pilgrim: Well, that's not that bad.
Annie: What kind of a name is 'Stove' anyway? What're you a kitchen Flight Attendant: No. My name is Steve and I'm a man
Annie: You are a flight attendant.
Dusty Bottoms: No, we will not die like dogs! We will fight like lions! Because we are...
Dusty Bottoms, Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: The Three Amigos!
Jerry Lundegaard: Now we had a deal. A deal's a deal.
Carl Showalter: Is it, Jerry? Why don't you ask those three poor souls in Brainerd if a deal's a deal. Go ahead, ask 'em!
Jerry Lundegaard: The heck do ya mean?
Carl Showalter: [mocking] "The heckya mean?"
Flight attendant: OH GOD! Ugh! I can't believe you fell for that crap! That's from 'Pretty In Pink!'
Janey: Are you sure?
Flight attendant: Trust me!
Jake: Excuse me, what are you doing?
Flight attendant: Let me give you a little piece of advice here, Jake. Why don't you lose the "I'm the cute and sensitive, popular boy with the big side-burns routine. It's just too pathetic! And for once tell Janey what's true in your heart. Stop being such a little bitch! And you Janey! Little miss other-side-of-the-tracks awkward rebel girl with the pseudo-intellectual glasses, why don't you wise-up to Jake's bullshit! Stop being such a dumbass!