Popular Comedy Quotes
Rabinowitz: What are you reading?
Topper: Great Expectations.
Rabinowitz: Is it any good?
Topper: It's not what I'd hoped for.
Farva: Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Double bacon cheeseburger. It's for a cop.
Farva: What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now?
Dimpus Burger Guy: No, I just told him that so he makes it good.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Don't spit in that cop's burger.
Farva: Yeah, thanks.
Guido: Listen to me.
Joel Goodson: No, no. You listen to ME!
Guido: [hangs up]
Joel Goodson: Shit!
"Coquille St. Jacques." Death on a leaf!Hitch
I wish I'd just gotten a Teddy Ruxpin!John
Marty, find out where the police are going to be taking him. Send over a bottle of bubbly with a bucket of ice and a card. Have it say, "Tough break, get drunk on me. Use the bucket to ice down your marbles, Yours, Z."Ray Zalinsky
Lindsey Meeks: No, it's the game!
Ben: No, I'm fine. It's just a game.
I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.Wayne Campbell
Buzz, Buzz! My backend's going to Baton Rouge!Slinky Dog
Holden: They used you!
Alyssa: No! I used them! You don't think I would've let it happen if I hadn't wanted to? Do you? I was an experimental girl for Christ sake! Maybe you knew from early on your track was from point A to be, but unlike you I was not given a fucking map at birth, so I tried it all! That is until we, you and I, got together and suddenly I was sated!
I may be off, but I think it's in reference to blowin' a dude.Nick
You are total catch. Any guy would by psyched to be your man. You should just make room for someone who is nice to you.Lillian