Popular Comedy Quotes
Norm Gunderson: I love you, Margie.
Marge Gunderson: I love you, Norm.
They let me go early! I won 'Most cooperative inmate' four months running.Ned
Isabel Bigelow: Guess what? I'm a witch!
Jack Wyatt: Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan!
It's got, ah, Ted Danson and Magnum P.I. and that Jewish actor...Alan Garner
Ron Burgundy: Um, Brick, before I let you go, are you still having your celebrity golf tournament?
Brick Tamland: Um, no, no. Too many people died last year, so we're not gonna.
Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Buttercup: I will never doubt again.
Westley: There will never be a need.
I got to rent movies, fuck with assholes, and hang out with my best friend, Dante.Randal Graves
Ooooh... You think you're so cool with your karate... and your child-like reflexes!Roy
As long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll.Mick Shrimpton
Anita Miller: First it was butter then it was sugar and white flour, bacon, eggs, balogna, rock 'n roll, motorcycles. Then! It was celebrating Christmas on a day in September when you knew it wouldn't be commercialized! What else are you gonna ban?
Elaine Miller: Honey, you want to rebel against knowledge, I'm trying to give you the cliffnotes on how to live life in this world.
Anita Miller: We're like nobody else I know!
Elaine Miller: I am a college professor. Why can't I teach my own kids? Use me!
Anita Miller: Darryl says that you use knowledge to keep me down. He says that I'm a "Yes" person and you are trying to raise us in a "No" environment.
Elaine Miller: Well, clearly "No" is a word Darryl doesn't hear much.
You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the two young boys I taught to believe in the Ten Commandments have come back to me as two thieves. With filthy mouths. And bad attitudes. Get out... And don't come back until you've redeemed yourselves...Sister Mary Stigmata
Isabella: I need your help.
Lee: Last time you needed my help, I woke up in a truck.