Paula: Listen, Tripp. I'm sorry... they paid me for the whole thing...
Tripp: [Handing $300 to Paula] Here's three hundred dollars... all I got in my wallet. That should cover your cost... I hope.
Paula: No, please...
Tripp: Get the fuck outta my car.

Andrew: I said, leave her alone.
Bender: You gonna make me?
Andrew: Yeah.
Bender: You and how many of your friends?
Andrew: Just me. Just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you. You hitting the floor. Anytime you're ready, pal.

I was just totally clueless!

Cher Horowitz

Cody's around here somewhere, I can feel it in my nuggets!

Chicken Joe

Is that my sweet Rachel's voice I heard? Or am I just goin' meshuga?

Marilyn Hack

Pageant Official: What is your daughter doing?
Richard: She's kickin' ass... that's what she's doing.

Alan Garner: Hey what's that on your arm?
Stu Price: Oh my God - Phil, you were in the hospital last night.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah, I guess I was.
Alan Garner: Are you okay?

Rita: Are you drunk or something?
Phil: Drunk is more fun.

Col. Denton Walters: It seems there were three bears. And one morning when their porridge was too hot, they went for a walk. And a little blond girl came skipping through the woods... she ate their porridge and she sat in their chairs... she slept in their beds. And when those bears returned and discovered that mess... Do you know what happened then Topper?
Topper Harley: No.
Col. Denton Walters: That little blond girl get scared. Ran away.
Topper Harley: So you're saying is that little blond girl is me. If this is about me coloring my hair...

Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but they couldn't possibly all have good taste.


"I seriously almost passed out, you're such a dork."


You're king Osama looks like a kind of dirty wizard, or a homeless Santa!


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