Popular Comedy Quotes
Steve Bolander: Where are you going? It's awfully early in the morning.
Curt Henderson: [pause] I have a dentist appointment.
John Milner: What the hell's goin' on here, Toad? Hey, man, are you all right?
Terry Fields: Yeah, I'll die soon, then it'll all be over, John.
Debbie Dunham: Wow, you're just like the Lone Ranger.
John Milner: Yeah, yeah. Listen, are you with him?
Terry Fields: You're talking to the woman I love.
John Milner: What happened, man?
[to Terry] Is that you in that beautiful car? Geez, what a waste of machinery!Teenager in car
Someone wants me. Someone roaming the streets, wants ME... Will you turn the corner?Curt Henderson
Mr. Wolfe: I thought you'd left.
Curt Henderson: No, not yet. I have no matches.
Mr. Wolfe: That's all right.
[strikes a match and lights his cigarette]
Mr. Wolfe: Brother, how do I get stuck with dance supervision? Will you tell me that? You going back east? Boy, I remember the day I went off. Got drunk as hell the night before, just...
Curt Henderson: Blotto.
Mr. Wolfe: Blotto, exactly. Barfed on the train all the next day, too.
Curt Henderson: Cute, very cute. Where'd you go again?
Mr. Wolfe: Middlebury, Vermont.
Curt Henderson: Right.
Mr. Wolfe: Got a scholarship.
Curt Henderson: Only stayed a semester?
Mr. Wolfe: One semester. After all that, I came back here.
Curt Henderson: Why did you come back?
Mr. Wolfe: I decided I wasn't the competitive type.
Mr. Wolfe: I don't know, maybe I was scared.
Curt Henderson: Well, I uh - I think I may find that I'm not the competitive type myself.
Mr. Wolfe: What do you mean?
Curt Henderson: Well, I'm not really sure that I'm
Curt Henderson: going.
Mr. Wolfe: Hey now, don't be stupid. Experience life! Have some fun, Curt! Anyway, good luck.
Bob Falfa: Hey, hey, hey, baby. What do you say?
Laurie Henderson: Don't say anything and we'll get along just fine.
Bob Falfa: Hey, you know a guy around here with a piss yellow deuce coupe, supposed to be hot stuff?
Terry Fields: You mean John Milner?
[Falfa nods slowly]
Terry Fields: Hey, nobody can beat him, man. He's got the fastest...
Bob Falfa: [cutting him off] I ain't nobody, dork! Right?
Terry Fields: [intimidated] Uh... right.
Bob Falfa: Hey, you see this Milner, you tell him I'm lookin' for him, huh? Tell him I aim to blow his ass right off the road.
Carol: Oh, rats. I thought some of my friends might be here.
John Milner: Probably a couple of weeks past their bedtime.
Carol: Oh, wait, there's Dee Dee. I hope she sees me.
John Milner: Oh, shit. Dee Dee!
Joe: [waves for Curt to come over] Get down! OK now, you got it? I'm staying here, you're on your own.
Curt Henderson: Wait a minute, wait a minute, Joe... wait a minute. What if he hears me?
Joe: Shhh. Listen, listen! Look at it this way. Now, you got three choices. One, you chicken out and in that case I let Ants tie you to the car and drag you around a little bit and you don't want that. Right?
Curt Henderson: No.
Joe: Two, you foul up and Holstein hears you and, well uh... you don't want that, right?
Curt Henderson: No, I don't.
Joe: Three, you are successful and you join the Pharaohs with a car coat and a blood initiation and all that, huh?
[Joe pats Curt on the shoulder and runs back to the car]
Curt Henderson: What? Wait a minute, wait a minute! What blood initiation?
Ants: Hey, man, who cut the cheese?
Joe: He who smelt it, dealt it.
Girls don't pay - guys pay!Debbie Dunham
John Milner: (Expletive)! Hey, get down!
Carol: Hey, is this what they call "copping a feel"?
John Milner: What? No, get up, N-O. Sheezus.
Carol: What's your name?
John Milner: My name? Mud, if anybody sees you.