No tracks, no sign, no spoor... you'd think after eating all those sheep they'd have to take a dump someplace ...

Burt Gummer

When my first husband left me I was so angry I wanted to cut his brake cables... but instead we ended up having sex on the elliptical machine.

Maria Kelly

We're the law, bitch!


You gotta help me! You gotta help me!


Bruno: Drill Sergeant: Your finger's in my alley.
Brüno: Not yet.

Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.
Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it?
Wayne Campbell: Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is.

Brandon is the sort of man everyone speaks well of, but no one remembers to talk to.

John Willoughby

Grandfather: Hullo.
John: He can talk then, can he?
Paul: 'Course he can talk. He's a human being, isn't he?
Ringo: Well if he's your grandfather, who knows! Ha ha ha!

Doug Madsen: Look, guys, sign at the curve of the road!
Bobby Davis: Madrid.
Woody Stevens: Spain?

Rita: Have you ever had déjà-vu?
Phil: Didn't you just ask me that?

Your fans never left you! The world hasn't forgotten!


Don't be lost when the time comes, for the day of the Lord cometh like a thief in the night.

Reverend Cleophus James

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