Popular Comedy Quotes
Hey Satan, I got some new luggage for our trip up to Earth. Let's fuck to celebrate.Saddam Hussein
Brad Hamilton: Hey, you guys had shirts on when you came in here.
Jeff Spicoli: Well, something must have happened to them.
Mrs. George: Hey, you guys! Happy hour is from four to six!
Cady: Um, is there alcohol in this?
Mrs. George: Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am... Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink, I'd rather you do it in the house.
Holy crap balls.Flint Lockwood
Holy shit, a talking beaver!Lucy
I bought a suit. You seen it. Now it's covered in mud. This town doesn't have a one hour cleaner so I had to buy a new suit, except the only store you could buy a new suit in has got the flu. Got that? The whole store got the flu so I had to get this in a second hand store. So it's either wear the leather jacket which I know you hate, or this. So I wore this ridiculous thing for you.Vinny Gambini
Ron Burgundy: I can't believe you did this to me. You read my news.
Veronica Corningstone: I told you that I wanted to be an anchor. I told you that.
Ron Burgundy: I thought you were kidding. I thought it was a joke, I even wrote it down in my diary. "Veronica had a very funny joke today." I laughed at it later that night.
Veronica Corningstone: I can't believe that I cared for you.
Ron Burgundy: Get out. Just go. We are through. Through. Because of your actions, you scorpion woman.
Veronica Corningstone: You have broken my heart, Mr. Burgundy. You have broken my heart.
[on the phone] I didn't ask for this role, but I'll play it. Now go do your best. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance, Russell. Please get my son home safely. You know, I'm glad we spoke.Elaine Miller
Elinor Dashwood: I do not attempt to deny that I think very highly of him - that I greatly esteem him... I like him.
Marianne: Esteem him? Like him? Use those insipid words again and I shall leave the room this instant.
I forgive you. I only hope my neurologist will feel the same.Chip Douglas
I gave you life so that you could live it.Maria Portokalos
Taggart: I got it. I got it.
Hedley Lamarr: You do?
Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em.
Hedley Lamarr: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one...
Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?
Taggart: NAW. We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on.
Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous.