Protecting the Queen's safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts.


You changed my life. You changed my life, and I've known you four days. This is the start of something really big, but right now, I gotta go.

Andrew Largeman

I'm a real boy!


There are two kinds of people - Greeks, and everyone else who wish they was Greek.

Gus Portokalos

Ted: Japan? What's she doing in Japan?
Pat Healy: Well, you've heard of mail-order brides? Well, they go that way too.
Ted: What, are they desperate? She's a whale!
Pat Healy: You can't forget, it's a sumo culture, Ted. They pay by the pound over there. Sorta like, um, tuna.



I did inhale because I thought 'What the hell, it's lit, it's in my hand, I'll inhale it.'

Tom Dobbs

Let's get pissed and watch porn

Billy Mack

Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab.

Raoul Duke

Borat Sagdiyev: What kind of car can I buy that attract woman with hairless vagine?
Car Dealership owner: That would be a Corvette.

I haven't cried like that since Titanic!


Dr Ray Stantz: I think we'd better split up.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Good idea.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah... we can do more damage that way.

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