Hey, Rick! I never made a slam dunk before. Thanks for the boost.

The Cable Guy

I'm so lonely, I paid a hobo to spoon with me.

Ron Burgundy

Champ Kind: I believe in two things: Chicken, and that the census is a way for the UN to make your children gay.

Freddie Shapp: We're starting a 24-hour news channel and we want you.
Ron Burgundy: I'm going to do the thing that god put Ron Burgundy on this earth to do, have salon-quality hair and read the news.

Ron Burgundy: You're not black or Asian.
GNN Reporter: I'm gay.
Champ Kind: Do you sleep in a coffin?
GNN Reporter: No, that’s vampires.
Brian Fantana: Are you allowed to be out in the sun?
GNN Reporter: Those are also vampires.
Brick Tamland: Are you a vampire?

By the hymen of Olivia Newton-John!

Ron Burgundy

I can always guess how many jelly beans are in a jelly bean jar, even if I’m wrong.

Brick Tamland

Ed Harken: We all loved Brick.
Ron Burgundy: Sweet Brick
Ed Harken: I'm told the next speaker was very close to him.
Brick Tamland: Why?! Why did you take him from us?!
Ron Burgundy: Brick, you're not dead.
Brick Tamland: I'm alive?
Ron, Champ and Brian: Yes
Brick Tamland: I'm alive!

Ron Burgundy: Linda Jackson, how are you my friend?
[Shakes hand of Linda's male assistant]
GNN Anchor: This is Linda.
Ron Burgundy: Oh, black… Black
Brian Fantana: Ron!
Ron Burgundy: Black!

  • Permalink: Black!
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Champ Kind: That's Jack Kind. Look at him. He's a prince.
Ron Burgundy: He's not that great.
Jack Lime: What'd you say?
Brick Tamland: [yelling] He said you're not that great!
Ron Burgundy: Brick!

  • Permalink: Brick!
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Veronica Corningstone: If you touch Ron, I will burn your face with a curling iron.
Ron Burgundy: Meow!

  • Permalink: Meow!
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Ron Burgundy: Brick, can you hear me?
Brick Tamland: I can't hear you.
Ron Burgundy: You're answering so I think you can hear me.
Brick Tamland: No, I can't.

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