Popular Comedy Quotes
This is bad. No, let me call it what is. This is fucked up.Marcus Burnett
Do you see the fuckin' emotion I'm goin' through right now? That means this shit is serious. That means me and this motherfucker's not vibin' right now. That's what that shit means.Marcus Burnett
I don't know why you going home to your wife. You got shot in the leg, your dick probably don't even work.Mike Lowrey
Mike Lowrey: You know what man? I'm so sick of this bullshit. What, I'm supposed to APOLOGIZE for my family leaving me money? All I EVER wanted to be was a cop. I go out there and take it to the max everyday. I'm the first guy through the door and I'm always the last one to leave the crime scene. So you know what? Fuck you, and fuck them, and fuck EVERYBODY that's got a problem with Mike Lowrey.
Marcus Burnett: I love you, man.
Mike Lowrey: Fuck you Marcus.
Marcus Burnett: I do. You're cool. You're my boy.
Mike Lowrey: Shut up, shut up Marcus. Slow-ass driver. Drivin' like a bitch. Slow-ass.
Marcus Burnett: Why I gotta be all that? I'll take you and me off this fuckin' cliff if you keep fuckin' with me. Then it'll be what, two bitches in the sea. Huh, is that it? Is that what you want?
Mike Lowrey: Shut up, Marcus.
Marcus Burnett: My wife knows I ain't no bitch. I'm a bad boy.
[on Captain Howard and Captain Sinclair, having another vicious argument] They should just bone and get that shit over with.Mike Lowrey
Marcus Burnett: Oh, man, that was cold.
Detective Sanchez: Yeah, so was your mama's bed.
Mike. Go downstairs and have a Coke and smile.Marcus Burnett
You forgot your boarding pass.Marcus Burnett
Damn, why am I tripping on shit I know is there?Marcus Burnett
Stake-out crook: Watching the place was my first gig.
Detective Sanchez: Oh, so does that make you union?
Marcus Burnett: [to Mike] I'm not understanding, I - I really don't.
Store Clerk: [pointing gun at Marcus] Shut up!
Marcus Burnett: I mean, do you just attract violence?
My shit always works sometimes!Mike Lowrey