Popular Comedy Quotes
Well, that's my spiel, as the Jews say.Elizabeth Halsey
Did you know I walked in on him trying to fuck his dog? Peanut butter everywhere.Elizabeth Halsey
[as she is being dragged away] You can check my urine! CHECK MY URINE! CHECK MY URINE!Amy Squirrel
If the younger generation doesn't get into opera, then, guess what? No more opera! An art form has died. If opera goes away, we're fucked!Mark
[slurred] I'm gonna rock your vagina.Carl Halabi
Twilight, what did we talk about in class? Throw it through her, not at her.Russell Gettis
Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac.Chip Douglas
The blue knight rules! The red knight sucks the big one! Down, down, down. Right knight goin' down. Down, down, down. Red knight goin' down.Chip Douglas
Steven: You know, my brother is a speech therapist.
Chip Douglas: Tho?
The Cable Guy: Sounds like heart break to me.
Steven Kovacs: Well I really don't want to discuss it with you. Could you just install my cable please? I'm gonna go get dressed.
The Cable Guy: Suit yourself. No sweat off my sac. Oh by the way, you might wanna put on a bathing suit 'cause you'll be channel surfing in no time!
Preferred customer my ASS!Medieval Times host
This concludes our broadcast day. Click.Chip Douglas