Is this something you'd like to share with the rest of us, Amazing Larry?

Pee-wee

I look like somebody hit me in the face with Lil Wayne.

Justin

We're the law, bitch!

Ryan

Ryan: I got promoted to sergeant!
Justin: You got promoted to sergeant?
Ryan: I felt like I deserved it.

I feel like Danny Glover before he got too old for this shit.

Justin

Sorry, we don't serve liars here. Can I get you a cup of bullshit for the road?

Josie

That's what you GET!

Ryan

Harry Dunne: Come on, Lloyd. You gotta get over her. Mary Samsonite was just a girl.
Harry Dunne: That's it, kid. Come on, come on, come on! Spit it out.
Lloyd Christmas: GOT YOU!
Harry Dunne: Wait a minute. Do you mean you have been faking for 20 years?
Lloyd Christmas: Mm-hmm.
Harry Dunne: And it was all for a gag?
Lloyd Christmas: Yep.
Harry Dunne: That's... awesome!

[Going through his extremely old mail left at his childhood home] Oh, look. An acceptance letter from Arizona State.

Harry Dunne

Harry Dunne: You're hot for my daughter!
Lloyd Christmas: What?
Harry Dunne: Am I right?
Lloyd Christmas: That's insane!

Lloyd Christmas: Why don't you roll me inside. We can get the nurse to get the catheter out of me.
Harry Dunne: We don't need nurses for that.
Lloyd Christmas: But don't you have to...

Harry Dunne: That's Butthole. I found him out in the alley.
Lloyd Christmas: Why did you name him Butthole?
Harry Dunne: 'Cause of this.
Lloyd Christmas: Good name. Totally fits.

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