Popular Comedy Quotes
Mike Lowrey: What the hell are you doin'?
Marcus Burnett: Keepin' my shit quick.
Mike Lowrey: Oh, I see. You aren't gettin any at home, so you got a lot of extra energy. Go ahead, burn it off.
Jesus. Could you use a smaller gun? You got blood on me again.Casper
You know you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy.Mike Lowrey
King Dingaling.Mike Lowrey
You know I'm a better cop when I get some in the morning, I feel lighter on my feet.Marcus Burnett
This is bad. No, let me call it what is. This is fucked up.Marcus Burnett
Do you see the fuckin' emotion I'm goin' through right now? That means this shit is serious. That means me and this motherfucker's not vibin' right now. That's what that shit means.Marcus Burnett
I don't know why you going home to your wife. You got shot in the leg, your dick probably don't even work.Mike Lowrey
Mike Lowrey: You know what man? I'm so sick of this bullshit. What, I'm supposed to APOLOGIZE for my family leaving me money? All I EVER wanted to be was a cop. I go out there and take it to the max everyday. I'm the first guy through the door and I'm always the last one to leave the crime scene. So you know what? Fuck you, and fuck them, and fuck EVERYBODY that's got a problem with Mike Lowrey.
Marcus Burnett: I love you, man.
Mike Lowrey: Fuck you Marcus.
Marcus Burnett: I do. You're cool. You're my boy.
Mike Lowrey: Shut up, shut up Marcus. Slow-ass driver. Drivin' like a bitch. Slow-ass.
Marcus Burnett: Why I gotta be all that? I'll take you and me off this fuckin' cliff if you keep fuckin' with me. Then it'll be what, two bitches in the sea. Huh, is that it? Is that what you want?
Mike Lowrey: Shut up, Marcus.
Marcus Burnett: My wife knows I ain't no bitch. I'm a bad boy.
[on Captain Howard and Captain Sinclair, having another vicious argument] They should just bone and get that shit over with.Mike Lowrey
Marcus Burnett: Oh, man, that was cold.
Detective Sanchez: Yeah, so was your mama's bed.
Mike. Go downstairs and have a Coke and smile.Marcus Burnett