Popular Comedy Quotes
Ed Hocken: You haven't shot anybody in six months.
Frank Drebin: That's true. Funny how you miss the little things.
You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst.
Envy Adams
Amanda Becket: [to Preston] You know what? Why don't you go off and get yourself a goddamn life, asshole?
Due by the Keg: [to Preston] Thanks, man. That's the funniest thing I've seen all night.
Billy Ray Valentine: You know, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barrelled shotgun 'cause you pissed at 'em.
Louis Winthorpe III: Why not?
Billy Ray Valentine: 'Cause it's called assault with a deadly weapon, you get 20 years for that shit.
Louis Winthorpe III: Listen, do you have any better ideas?
Billy Ray Valentine: Yeah. You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.
Coleman: You have to admit, sir, you didn't like it yourself a bit.
You may run like Hayes. but you hit like shit.
Lou Brown
Ponton: You never cease to surprise me, sir.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: It's true. My surprises, they are rarely unexpected.
You put the bone in Zamboni.
Chazz
You should be reading stories about bears that go shopping!
Detective John Kimble
Your mom kinda freaked me out.
Russell Hammond
You're crazier than a road lizard.
Jedediah
Lacey Underall: You're crazy!
Ty Webb: That's what they said about Son of Sam.
You're goin' down. Chainsaw.
Ash
