Popular Comedy Quotes
Greg, are you prepared to be... the Godfocker?Jack Byrnes
Kumar: Do you know what the hell we had to go through after you took the car?
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, it was a dick move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal.
Neil Patrick Harris: [looks down to count money] Here's 80 for the meal, and 200 for the car
Harold: What did you do to my car?
Neil Patrick Harris: I made some love stains in the back. You'll see...
Jay: Think I could get a little blow job for good luck?
Justice: No. Go.
My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug.Albert
Hello; my name is Marty DiBergi. I'm a filmmaker. I make a lot of commercials. That little dog that chases the covered wagon underneath the sink? That was mine. In 1966, I went down to Greenwich Village, New York City to a rock club called Electric Banana. Don't look for it; it's not there anymore. But that night, I heard a band that for me redefined the word "rock and roll". I remember being knocked out by their... their exuberance, their raw power - and their punctuality. That band was Britain's now-legendary Spinal Tap. Seventeen years and fifteen albums later, Spinal Tap is still going strong. And they've earned a distinguished place in rock history as one of England's loudest bands. So in the late fall of 1982, when I heard that Tap was releasing a new album called "Smell the Glove", and was planning their first tour of the United States in almost six years to promote that album, well needless to say I jumped at the chance to make the documentary - the, if you will, "rockumentary" - that you're about to see. I wanted to capture the... the sights, the sounds... the smells of a hard-working rock band, on the road. And I got that; I got more... a lot more. But hey, enough of my yakkin'; whaddaya say? Let's boogie!Marty DiBergi
I am a sexy beast.Austin Powers
It's like my mom says, "The weak are always trying to sabatoge the strong."Tracy Flick
Agent 99: Did I hear something?
Maxwell Smart: Yes, there were some tap dancers in the hallway.
Ned: Phil, this is the best day of my life.
Phil: Mine too.
Rita: Mine too.
Ned: Where are we going?
Rita: Oh, let's not spoil it!
[talking about Nigel] I'm tired of sticking up for his intelligence.David St. Hubbins
Shaun: Philip, have you still got the child-locks on?
Philip: Safety first, Shaun.
Woman, this is all your fault. Come bargin' in here like a friggin' moose.Kenny Fisher