Popular Comedy Quotes
Pageant Assistant: Are you authorized to be backstage?
Dwayne: [without stopping] No.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm gonna take back some of the things I said about you, Egon.
[pulls out candy bar]
Dr. Peter Venkman: You... You've earned it
Y'know, they're hookers. So it's fine.Ted
Who wants to have a pillow fight?Michael Newman
Evelle: I got me some baby grub, baby wipes, diapers, them disposable kind. I also got a package of balloons.
Gale: They blow up into funny shapes and all?
Evelle: No, just circular.
Just cleaning out the old locker, she stinks like ass but I'll sure miss her... I guess you could say that about all my girls.Farva
You should see the other guy!Carl Showalter
Affleck, you the bomb in "Phantoms," yo!Jay
Fate! There is such a thing as fate, but it only takes you so far. Then it's up to you to make it happen.Angel Stripper
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I'll be honest with you. I - I find your accent quite funny. Where are you fvam?
Yuri: From Russia. Gluant recruited me from the Russian military gym.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [mocking him] "do-do-do-ba-ba-lo"
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You need to work on your accent.
Badger: In summation, I think you just got to not do it, man. That's all.
Mr. Fox: I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable, but I'm gonna ignore your advice.
Badger: The cuss you are.
Mr. Fox: The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?
Badger: No, you cussing with me?
Mr. Fox: Don't cussing point at me!
Badger: If you're gonna cuss, you're not gonna cuss with me, you little cuss!
Badger: You're not gonna cuss with me!
[Both start snarling at each other, and then settle down]
Mr. Fox: Just buy the tree.
Are we gonna get it on now?Ricky Bobby