Popular Comedy Quotes
We're the law, bitch!Ryan
Ryan: I got promoted to sergeant!
Justin: You got promoted to sergeant?
Ryan: I felt like I deserved it.
I feel like Danny Glover before he got too old for this shit.Justin
Sorry, we don't serve liars here. Can I get you a cup of bullshit for the road?Josie
That's what you GET!Ryan
Harry Dunne: Whoa, Lloyd. Check out the hotties at 12 o'clock.
Lloyd Christmas: That's three hours away. Why can't I check 'em out now?
Harry Dunne: This is my associate, Dr. Christmas.
Dr. Lewis Meldman: Christmas, as in the holiday?
Lloyd Christmas: No, as in the tree.
Harry Dunne: Come on, Lloyd. You gotta get over her. Mary Samsonite was just a girl.
Harry Dunne: That's it, kid. Come on, come on, come on! Spit it out.
Lloyd Christmas: GOT YOU!
Harry Dunne: Wait a minute. Do you mean you have been faking for 20 years?
Lloyd Christmas: Mm-hmm.
Harry Dunne: And it was all for a gag?
Lloyd Christmas: Yep.
Harry Dunne: That's... awesome!
[Going through his extremely old mail left at his childhood home] Oh, look. An acceptance letter from Arizona State.Harry Dunne
Harry Dunne: You're hot for my daughter!
Lloyd Christmas: What?
Harry Dunne: Am I right?
Lloyd Christmas: That's insane!
Lloyd Christmas: Why don't you roll me inside. We can get the nurse to get the catheter out of me.
Harry Dunne: We don't need nurses for that.
Lloyd Christmas: But don't you have to...
Harry Dunne: That's Butthole. I found him out in the alley.
Lloyd Christmas: Why did you name him Butthole?
Harry Dunne: 'Cause of this.
Lloyd Christmas: Good name. Totally fits.