You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.

Ron Burgundy

Earl Bassett: No way those things can outrun these horses!
Valentine McKee: Yeah, well, for all you know, they can fly.

Is it just me, or does every woman in Queens have some kind of an emotional problem?

Prince Akeem

Doug Butabi: Why go out for a burger when you got steak at home?
Steve: Yeah, we should go for lunch after this.

Tiffany: You know, for a while, I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to me. But now I'm starting to think you're the worst.
Pat: Of course you do. Come on, let's go dance.

Who wants to have a pillow fight?

Michael Newman

Connor: Do you know who I am?
Brad: What?
Connor: Google me bitch! I might be famous one day.

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Dean Vernon Wormer

Phil: You wanna throw up here, or you wanna throw up in the car?
Ralph: I think... both.

Deborah Clasky: You were an alcoholic and wildly promiscuous woman during my formative years so that im in this fix because of you, it is your fault and I just needed that moment for us to build on.
Evelyn Wright: You have a solid point dear... but right now the lessons of my life are coming in handy for you.

I feel the same way as you feel about Botox. Painful and unnecessary.

Samantha Jones

Crash Davis: Well, he really hit the shit outta that one, didn't he?
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: [softly, infuriated] I held it like an egg.
Crash Davis: Yeah, and he scrambled the son of a bitch. Look at that, he hit the fucking bull! Guy gets a free steak!

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