Don't beat yourself up over this, Mitch. It's not your fault. Dammit, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die.

Beanie

Ok, ladies the secret to a good BJ is focus. I don't care if we're talking about your husband of ten years or some hot sailor you met a TGI Fridays.

Garry

No it's cool man, bring your green hat!

Frank

Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Jean Girard: Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy?

Jean Girard: You taste like America.
Ricky Bobby: Thank you.

I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.

Ricky Bobby

Ricky Bobby: From now on, it's Magic Man and El Diablo.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: What does El Diablo mean?
Ricky Bobby: It's like Spanish for like a fighting chicken.

I wanna thank little baby Jesus, who's sittin' in his crib watchin the Baby Einstein videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors.

Ricky Bobby

Are we gonna get it on now?

Ricky Bobby

If you ain't first, you're last.

Ricky Bobby

Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! Help me, Allah! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft to get the fire off me! Help me, Oprah Winfrey!

Ricky Bobby

I like to think of Jesus as wearin' a Tuxedo T-Shirt, that says, like, "I want to be formal, but I like to party too." I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party too.

Cal Naughton Jr

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