Popular Comedy Quotes
Were these magic grits? Did you get these grits from the same guy who sold Jack his bean stalk beans?Vinny Gambini
Officer Michaels: Yeah McLovin, how is it going with the ladies?
Fogell: It's not the "going" I'm worried about... but the "coming."
Friend: Are you sure Applebee's is the best place to meet hot women?
Rick: You thinking Olive Garden?
Tommy: Hmmm. He seems like a nice guy.
Richard Hayden: This is the guy trying to buy the company, not to mention put you out on the street, and all you can say is, "Hmmm, he seems like a nice guy!"
MacGruber: Your companion is a very beautiful young woman.
Dieter Von Cunth: Thank you.
MacGruber: I hope you enjoy being date raped, ma'am.
Dieter Von Cunth: This is my daughter.
Brick Tamland: Your hair looks like wet popcorn.
Chani: I like the parts of your face that are covered with skin.
I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!Brennan Huff
Janine, someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.Dr. Peter Venkman
Vincent Benedict: Through the lips, over the gums...
Julius Benedict: Look out stomach! Here it comes!
Westley: We are men of action, lies do not become us.
Count Rugen: Well spoken, sir.
Count Rugen: What is it?
Westley: You have six fingers on your right hand. Someone was looking for-
Count Rugen: [knocks him out]
Rick Ford: We have to stop the sale of a nuclear bomb. They send in someone who looks like Santa Claus' fucking wife!
Susan Cooper: Uh, did you forget? I am undercover because you are not supposed to be here!
Rick Ford: Welln I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can't do!
Bluto: What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer...
Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
Bluto: We're just the guys to do it.
D-Day: Let's do it.
Bluto: LET'S DO IT!