Popular Comedy Quotes
Danny Butterman: What do you think?
Nicholas Angel: Well, I wouldn't argue that it wasn't a no holds barred, adrenaline fueled thrill ride. But, there is no way you can perpetrate that amount of carnage and mayhem and not incur a considerable amount of paperwork.
Danny Butterman: That is nothing man, this is about to go off!
I may not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is.Slinky Dog
American Representative: Fuck Canada!
Canadian Representative: Hey fuck you buddy!
[Homer is whipping the dogs pulling his sled]
Homer Simpson: Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!
[the dogs jump over a cliff]
Homer Simpson: Jump! Jump!
[the dogs land on the other side]
Homer Simpson: Land! Land!
[the dogs take a breather]
Homer Simpson: Rest! Rest!
[the dogs pull the sled again]
Homer Simpson: Run! Run!
[Homer sets up camp and begins removing the dog muzzles]
Homer Simpson: Okay, I know we've had a rough day, but I'm sure we can put that all behind us and...
[the dogs start attacking Homer, causing him to scream in pain]
Homer Simpson: AGH! Not my whipping arm!
[the dogs leave Homer stranded]
Homer Simpson: Why does everything I whip leave me?
Ponton: He was just found dead in a training facility locker room. Shot in the head.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Was it fatal?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: How fatal?
Ponton: Um, completely.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I want to talk to him now!
Isabel Bigelow: Your life is total instant gratification, Daddy.
Nigel Bigelow: It's fantastic, isn't it?
Isabel Bigelow: No. No, it's not. Because how do you know that anyone really loves you for yourself? It's like those rich men who are never sure why women sleep with them.
Nigel Bigelow: But women sleep with them, so it's not really a problem.
What do you think this is kid? T.V. kiddie hour where we all stand around and lick Barney the dinosaur fucking pussy?The Mole
[giggling] My avitar's dressed like a hooker!Kate Holbrook
Derek Smalls: Remember at Luton Palace we were talking about writing a rock musical based on the life of Jack the Ripper.
David St. Hubbins: Yeah!
David St. Hubbins: You're a naughty one...
Derek Smalls, David St. Hubbins: Saucy Jack...
David St. Hubbins: You're a haughty one, saucy Jack.
Don't let the beard fool you. He's a child!Stu Price
Dewey Finn: Give me a platform. Let's rock, let's rock, today. Now do it to me.
Lawrence: Let's rock, let's rock, today.
Dewey Finn: That's good. Slap it, shoot it, ka-boot it.
Jane, since I've met you I've noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.Frank