Popular Comedy Quotes
[giggling] My avitar's dressed like a hooker!Kate Holbrook
What are you, people? On dope?Mr. Hand
Norm Gunderson: Two more months.
Marge Gunderson: [smiling] Two more months.
What's your name, Fruit Head?Grandpa Bud
[waking from a dream] I didn't cum on you, Pete, I swear.Jay
Rachel Phelps: Any ideas?
Charlie Donovan: On how we can get worse?
Rachel Phelps: Mmmmm...
Charlie Donovan: How about a series of fines for good play? Maybe a $30,000 bonus to the guy voted Least Valuable Player.
Rachel Phelps: Maybe the problem is... we're coddling these guys too much. Yeah!
Oh boy. How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm once they've seen Karl Hungus.The Dude
My chest hairs are tingling! Something's wrong.Earl Devereaux
Arlene Lorenzo: How dare those people treat us like we're stupid teenage girls.
Betsy Jobs: We are stupid teenage girls.
Arlene Lorenzo: No. We're human beings, and we're American citizens. And four score and seven years ago our forefathers... did something.
Morty: [while Michael is about to call him] Yes?
Michael Newman: [jumps back and lands on the table] You scared the...
Donna Newman: Honey, what's going on down there?
Michael Newman: I, uh, it was a mouse! It's dead, I killed it, it just broke the table first.
I'm a cop you idiot! I'm detective John Kimble!Detective John Kimble
Never take it seriously, you never get hurt. Never get hurt, you can always have fun. And if you ever get lonely, you just go to the record store and visit all your friends.Penny Lane