Popular Comedy Quotes
Well... We shot a lot of people together. It's been great. But today I retire, so if I do any shooting now, it'll have to be within the confines of my own home. Hopefully, an intruder and not an in-law, like at my bachelor party.Frank Drebin
That's what you slipped in! That's what was on your shoe! AND THAT EXPLAINS THE ABRASION ON YOUR PALM! Damn I'm good!Ace
We need somewhere to put our black asses, nigger.Borat
You would rather hang out with Italian models than come with me to my *awesome* work party?Jane
Another wedding invitation. And a list. Lovely.Charles
Alistair Hennessey: How are things going with your - what are you calling it? Leopard fish?
Steve Zissou: Jaguar shark.
Alistair Hennessey: Jaguar shark! So tell me - does it really exist?
Steve Zissou: [hesitant] You know, Allie, I don't want to give away the ending.
It's okay, 99. Big people feel pain, too.Maxwell Smart
[in a childlike voice] Oh, Lawrence! This is the happiest day of my life! I think my testicles are dropping!Freddy Benson
Imperial Guard: Chon Wang!
Roy O'Bannon: That's right, Johnny Wayne's here.
Thorny: Say Farva, you wanna take this dispatch?
Farva: Hell, yeah!
Thorny: Yeah, I bet you would.
Louis Winthorpe III: Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. Fear? That's the other guy's problem. Nothing you have ever experienced will prepare you for the absolute carnage you are about to witness. Super Bowl, World Series - they don't know what pressure is. In this building, it's either kill or be killed. You make no friends in the pits and you take no prisoners. One minute you're up half a million in soybeans and the next, boom, your kids don't go to college and they've repossessed your Bentley. Are you with me?
Billy Ray Valentine: Yeah, we got to kill the motherfuckers - we got to kill 'em!
Sloane: What could happen to it? It's in a garage.
Cameron: It could get wrecked, stolen, scratched, breathed on wrong... a pigeon could shit on it! Who knows?