Popular Comedy Quotes
Ferris Bueller: Look, it's real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off.
Ferris Bueller: We'll drive home backwards.
Grace: Oh, Ed. You just sounded like Dirty Harry just then.
Ed Rooney: Really? Thanks, Grace.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.Ferris Bueller
Ferris Bueller: Cameron, what have you seen today?
Cameron: Nothing good.
Ferris Bueller: Nothing - wha - what do you mean nothing good? We've seen everything good. We've seen the whole city! We went to a museum, we saw priceless works of art! We ate pancreas!
Ed Rooney: Between grief and nothing... I'll take grief.
Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus but it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car!Ferris Bueller
The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.Ferris Bueller
Ed Rooney: I don't trust this kid any further than I can throw him.
Grace: Well, with your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody... Its true.
Ed Rooney: What is so dangerous about a character like Ferris Bueller is he gives good kids bad ideas.
Ed Rooney: Last thing I need at this point in my career is fifteen hundred Ferris Bueller disciples running around these halls. He jeopardizes my ability to effectivley govern this student body.
Grace: Well, makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed.
Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work.Ferris Bueller
Ferris Bueller: Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to.
Cameron: We're pinched, for sure.
Ferris Bueller: Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.
Sloane: What could happen to it? It's in a garage.
Cameron: It could get wrecked, stolen, scratched, breathed on wrong... a pigeon could shit on it! Who knows?
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.Al Czervik