Popular Comedy Quotes
Mac: All right, how about "Cat Game?"
Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?
Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
Foster: Ten? Starting right 'meow?'
Larry Johnson: Sorry about the...
Foster: All right meow. (1) Hand over your license and registration.
Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow. (2)
[Mac ticks off two fingers]
Larry Johnson: Sorry.
[the man laughs]
Foster: Is there something funny here boy?
Larry Johnson: Oh, no.
Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
Foster: All right meow, (3) where were we?
Larry Johnson: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
Foster: Am I saying meow?
[Mac makes facial expression as he is considers the last one]
Larry Johnson: I thought...
Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, (4) do you know how fast you were going?
Foster: Meow. (5) What is so damn funny?
Larry Johnson: I could have sworn you said meow.
Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? Do you see me eating mice? You stop laughing right meow! (6)
Larry Johnson: Yes sir.
Foster: Meow, (7) I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. (8) It's the law.
[rips off ticket and hands it to man]
Foster: Not so funny meow, (9) is it?
Foster: [Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows] Meow! (10)
Captain O'Hagan: Bulletproof cup, huh? I invented this gag, Rabbit. Only in my day, the rookie got naked.
[fires through the window, accidentally shooting out the glass]
Captain O'Hagan: And we also used blanks. You're a sick motherfucker, Mac.
Mac: Thanks, Chief!
Farva: What's this?
Rabbit: A chamois cloth.
Farva: Ha. Lucky guess. I just lost a buck. To myself.
Rabbit: [lifting soap out of coffee] Oh, look, a bar of soap.
Farva: Oohoohoh shit. I got you good, you fucker!
Mac: Awesome prank, Farva.
Farva: Better'n the crap you pull, Mac.
Mac: [to Rabbit] Bite it, rook! You'll make him look like a dick!
Captain O'Hagan: Every Thursday night I walk into the lodge to play Hearts...
Mac: Seriously, rook, bite it. Do it. Don't be a wuss!
Captain O'Hagan: ...and they always have my Old-Fashioned just waiting there...
Mac: Don't be a wuss, bite it!
Captain O'Hagan: ...I like that. I like it here...
Mac: Bite it. Bite it!
Captain O'Hagan: [Fed up] Oh, hell! Give me the goddamn soap!
[licking window of police car] The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!College Kid
Foster: We could be like Cagney and Lacy.
Ursula: Right. Except Cagney and Lacy were both women.
Foster: I could be Lacy.
Come on, Thorny, what game are you playing here? I can say "meow". I can say "moo". For twenty bucks, I'll call the guy a "chicken fucker".Farva
Foster: How you feelin' there, Mac?
Mac: Good enough... to fuck... your mother.