Popular Comedy Quotes
I'd do it again you know? Us, you, me the kids, all of it. I'd do it again. I'd choose you every time.Phil Foster
If you were me, then I'd be you, and I'd use *your* body to get to the top. You can't stop me no matter who you are!Ace
Irene Walsh: Pants and shirts go in the... oh, forget about it. Just throw everything into cardboard boxes. Clark, can you really translate all that?
Mouth: For sure, Mrs. Walsh.
Mouth: [in Spanish] The marijuana goes in the top drawer. The cocaine and speed go in the second drawer. And the heroin goes in the bottom drawer. Always separate the drugs.
No, no, no don't just hork it down!Remy
Judge Smails: Oh Porterhouse, look at the wax build up on these shoes I want that wax stripped off there, then I want them creamed and buffed with a fine chamois, and I want them now. Chop chop.
Smoke Porterhouse: Yes judge, right away judge.
Pinchers of power! You guys! I've been saved by my Pinchers of Power!Richard 'Data' Wang
J.D.: [bringing a box of videos to Judith] Hey, I brought you some more videos. You've got your choice: porno's or monster trucks. Oh, and I got one that's both.
Wayne Campbell: She's a babe.
Garth Algar: She's magically babelicious.
Wayne Campbell: She tested very high on the stroke-ability scale.
This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.Carl Spackler
What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; How come you're here?Ty Webb
Fogell: What's it like to have a gun?
Officer Michaels: It's like having two cocks. If one of your cocks could kill someone.