Popular Comedy Quotes
Shut your mouth. Sh-sh-shut your mouth.Brennan Huff
Senator Mills: I support hydrogen cars...
Tom Dobbs: That's weird, because you're backed by oil companies.
Can I have a slice of your doody?Steve Barker
[to Inigo] You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.Fezzik
Miles Logan: Don't you ever get all up on this thing?
Carlson: I don't think I've ever gotten all up on anything, sir.
Mr. Morgan: Get outta my class.
Kat Stratford: What?
Mr. Morgan: Out. Get out!
Joey: Thanks, Mr. Morgan.
Mr. Morgan: Shut up!
How come we only ask ourselves the really big questions when something bad happens?Tommy Corn
[after learning from an investigator that Margot had been previously married and has had affairs with both men and women] So, she smokes.Raleigh
Kyle: Let me have some candy, Cartman.
Cartman: Let's see, hmm, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy.
Kyle: Fine! Like you really need all that chocolate, fat boy!
Andy Stitzer: Well, if you loved her so much, why did you cheat on her?
Jay: [sobbing violently] Because! Duh! I'm insecure! Can't you tell?
I don't read the script. The script reads me.Kirk Lazarus