Popular Comedy Quotes
Wayne Campbell: Or, imagine, being able to be magically whisked away to... Delaware.
Wayne Campbell: Hi. I'm in Delaware.
License and registration... chicken fucker.Farva
You must have eaten, like, a hundred bucks worth of pot, and, like, 30 bucks worth of shrooms man!College Kid
Farva: Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Double bacon cheeseburger. It's for a cop.
Farva: What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now?
Dimpus Burger Guy: No, I just told him that so he makes it good.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Don't spit in that cop's burger.
Farva: Yeah, thanks.
Farva: Gimme a pie... apple.
Dimpus Burger Guy: Want me to hold the spit? Hah, just kidding officer Farva.
Dimpus Burger Guy: Want me to dimpa-size your meal for 25 cents?
Farva: Want me to punch-a-size your face, for free?
Dimpus Burger Guy: It's only 25 cents, and look how much more you get.
Thorny: Look, kid, he doesn't want it.
Farva: I can handle this, Thorn. I don't want it!
Dimpus Burger Guy: Uhh, right. Beverage?
Farva: Gimme a liter o' cola.
Dimpus Burger Guy: What?
Farva: [Annoyed] A liter o' cola.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Litercola? Do we sell litercola?
Thorny: Will you just order a large, Farva?
Farva: I don't want a large farva. I want a goddamn liter o' cola!
Dimpus Burger Guy: [to Farva] I don't know what that is!
Farva: [slowly starts shouting] Liter is French for...
[grabs burger kid by shirt]
Farva: ... give me my fuckin' cola before I break VOUS FUCKIN' LIP!
It stinks like sex in here.Thorny
Mac: Oh, c'mon, we're like the sons you never had.
Captain O'Hagan: If you were my son, Mac, I would've smothered you by now.
Mac: Smothered me in gravy you big dirty man.
Say car Ram-Rod.Farva
Just cleaning out the old locker, she stinks like ass but I'll sure miss her... I guess you could say that about all my girls.Farva
Farva: Hey, let's pop some Viagras and issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners.
Thorny: You know, Farva, only you can make a dark man blush. And no, we're not doing it.
Police Chief Grady: I'm sorry about that delousing. Just standard procedure.
Farva: It's powdered sugar.
Police Chief Grady: The lice hate the sugar.
Farva: [deadpanning] It's delicious.