Well, then, I just HATE you... and I hate your... ass... FACE!

Corky St. Clair

Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!


Shelley: [puts on Natalie's glasses] God, you need to go to the eye doctor!
Natalie: I did. That's where I got my glasses.

I'm in here on my knees, Ed, a free man proposing. Howdy, Kurt.


Jeff Megall: Sony has a futuristic sci-fi movie they're looking to make.
Nick Naylor: Cigarettes in space?
Jeff Megall: It's the final frontier, Nick.
Nick Naylor: But wouldn't they blow up in an all oxygen environment?
Jeff Megall: Probably. But it's an easy fix. One line of dialogue. 'Thank God we invented the... you know, whatever device.'

Clive (in Jessica's body): I'll make you a deal. You just let me make another 500 bucks tonight, OK. Then, I'll give you your body back because it soooo important to you.
Clive (in Jessica's body): Waa waa I'm crying about my body... And then, you can just loan it to me every other weekend so I can pay off some gambling debts.

"We made a pact, Wolfpack only."

Alan [to Teddy]

You want an opinion? With a push-up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb up there.

Maury Ballstein

Van Wilder: Blue - it brings out your eyes. The kid has killer eyes, not unlike yourself - anyone ever tell you that?
Gwen: Yes, my boyfriend.
Van Wilder: Your boyfriend? What's his name?
Gwen: I don't think that's any of your business.
Van Wilder: [Puts on sunglasses and turns away] You're right

Roy: Lord, help me. Just let me know you're there. Love me, hate me, but let me know you're up there.
Roy: Hey, I can see our hotel from here. Wow.

Ken: I'm sorry about the message last night. The man who left it is a bit of a...well, he's a bit of a...
Marie: Cock?
Ken: Yes, a bit of a cock.

I'm like the dumb girl that doesn't get it. I've never been the dumb girl before. It ain't so great.

Erica Barry

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